Chasing the Grid of Dreams & Why You Shouldn’t

This hasn’t been the first post written on this topic, and it most certainly won’t be the last. Without realising it, we’ve become a society which works overtime except we (well, most of us) don’t get paid for it. We just chase the dream, the lifestyle of being paid for being known – or at least we’re chasing the dopamine sensation.

As an artist, I can definitely say I’ve often wondered about how it must feel to have enough of an audience to never worry about making enough sales. Hence why about six months ago, feeling drained from it all, I went on an Instagram hiatus to take a backseat from the platform and see how it would affect my perspective. It was an invaluable experience; I learnt how much clearer and sharper my focus could be without the pressure of the next upload weighing on my mind, or my creativity being clouded by the overload of visual data from countless Instagram feeds. It was just too much, too often.

It was just too much, too often.

As an artist, this affected me more than I understood until I took that step back.

When I did later return to Instagram (there’s no denying how powerful the app is, especially for visual arts) – I’d gained a renewed vision. I no longer felt the need to chase numbers and statistics, and I no longer wanted to upload if it wasn’t truly adding value to my online presence. I was still trying to build my following and push my artwork out there, but not at the expense of my personal limits – or as a sacrifice at the hands of the increasingly horrifying Instagram algorithm (eek, there’s that word again – sorry).

I became better at limiting my scrolling time, using scheduling apps to plan posts, turning on the in-built time limit feature (currently set to 45 minutes) and turning off all push notifications. Safe to say, these small changes have helped place me back in the driver’s seat; I now only think about opening Instagram when I make a conscious decision to and my quality of life on that front has vastly improved. Previously, in the guise of ‘hustle’, I’d thrown every moment and fracture of thought towards succeeding on Instagram but it simply isn’t worth the loss of control.

My approach to art is now healthier than before. Note that I’m saying ‘healthier’ as opposed to ‘steadier’ – as many of you are aware, I used to create and upload art much more frequently. The reality is, it was so incredibly difficult to sustain that I eventually burnt out. For a short but terrifying while, I allowed myself no time to actually enjoy art, so I stopped seeing it with the same passion and appreciation, and instead started to view it as a means to grow an audience. This is the type of mindset I refuse to ever return to, having regained my love for it, and I’m now grateful to have even a small audience if I’m able to learn, grow, create and understand art with integrity, credibility and ihsan.

This is not a number’s game.

For a short but terrifying while, I allowed myself no time to actually enjoy art..

As for the juggling act of creating large volumes of work often, it’s easier for some than others – but in the last two years alone, I’ve moved city, moved house twice and changed career path, so we can agree that that’s slightly more chaotic than normal. But even if this wasn’t the case, I still stand by the belief that it’s better to have downtime and recoup regularly, releasing well-loved works every so often, than continuously and relentlessly churning out half-hearted, barely-studied and uninteresting pieces of work hurriedly thrown together in a spare thirty-minute window before bed.

As a side note; we desperately need to stop feeling guilty for not being productive enough seven days of the week and recognise that all the other stuff is valuable too. So what if you didn’t get any extra work done this weekend? So what if your secondary to-do list has been untouched for a day? I appreciate that for some this is much tougher (I’m looking at you, mothers and carers), and those people have my heart – but for many of us, this excessive need to be busy is self-inflicted. We can choose not to. Being unproductive is not a crime.

So what if you didn’t get any extra work done this weekend? So what if your secondary to-do list has been untouched for a day?

The time you spend living, communicating, making people smile, humming to a tune, decorating your home, sharing a newfound food love, winding down with a film or a good book – these are important too. Everything contributes in its own way, as long as we’re able to find the balance.

Sometimes, for example, even something as unrelated to art as organising your paperwork can aid the peace and calm you need to create beautiful work on paper.